Are you up to speed with all of the proper etiquette an engaged couples needs to know? From the proposal, to the engagement ring, to pre-wedding parties, brush up on the frequently asked questions about engagement etiquette.
Who Can Propose? Whoever is brave enough! While it is certainly still customary for the man to propose marriage, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the woman popping the question. Whichever partner decides to propose, be sure to make it a romantic and memorable occasion. If the woman decides to pop the question to her boyfriend, she can consider giving him a special piece of jewelry like a nice watch or a pair of engraved cufflinks. Some guys even wear "mangagement" rings, which are essentially just really cool bands - no diamonds required. When the woman is the one to propose, most couples will go together to shop for her special piece of bridal jewelry - the engagement ring - after the proposal has been accepted.
What If You Hate the Ring? This is a thorny issue. Many people will say that since the woman is the one who will be wearing the engagement ring, it is perfectly fine for her to speak up if the style is not to her liking. After all, if he got you an ultra-modern bezel set style and you have your heart set on vintage style bridal jewelry for your wedding, there will definitely be a clash of styles. However, there is also a very strong risk of hurting the man's feelings, which is not worth it. Personally, I think that it is best to wear the ring that your fiance chose for you, and plan to put your personal stamp on your bridal jewelry set by choosing a special wedding band. Of course, it would never be acceptable to tell your fiance that you don't like the ring he chose because the diamond is too small!
Who Should Be Told First About the Engagement? This one is easy: your parents. They may not always be the absolute first ones you tell (that special honor often goes to a sister or best friend), but they should be made to feel as though you came to them first. Do it quickly, before the news trickles out, because you never want your parents to hear of your engagement from a third party. If they live nearby, it is always nicest to share your good news in person, although a phone call is certainly fine if your parents live far away.
If Someone is Invited to the Engagement Party, Must They Be Invited to the Wedding? In a word, yes. Anyone who is invited to celebrate your engagement at an engagement party, bridal shower, or bachelorette party should also be invited to your wedding. This means that you should have a rough guest list made before sending out pre-wedding party invitations, lest you invite someone to your engagement party only to realize there is no room for them on the wedding guest list. The only time this rule can be bent is if the bride's co-workers decide to hold a small bridal shower for her at work. As long as the bride did not ask for the shower or invite them in any way, she would not be obligated to have her co-workers at her wedding, unless they are also her friends.
Who Keeps the Ring If the Engagement is Broken? Hopefully you will never have to deal with this situation, but weddings do get called off on occasion. Strictly speaking, etiquette says that if the man breaks the engagement, the woman may keep the engagement ring. That rule would not apply if the ring was a family heirloom from the man's side, however. Many women will choose to return the engagement ring anyway, because it is the gracious thing to do or because they just do not want a reminder of their ex-fiance. If the woman breaks the engagement, she should definitely return the engagement ring promptly.
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